Number of visitors: Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? OOpps...
Why is the man who
invests all your money called a broker?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why is it called building when it is already built?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become
disoriented?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this????BR>
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent ...
don't miss the last one!!
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Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
________________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
________________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
forgotten?
_____________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
______________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
_________________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
_________________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
__________________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
________________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
________________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_______________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
____________________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
___________________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
__________________________________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
___________________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
__________________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.